Past Life Regression

I've been trying to find a psychologist. I like positive psychology, and want someone who works in that realm. Also, I believe in the spiritual realm, and want someone who believes in that, also.

I found a therapist who is a licensed psychologist, but she also believes in past lives and energy healing, and does this as part of her practice. Let's call her Dr. W. I met with her on Thursday. We were scheduled to do a past life regression.

Before we started, she asked me a little bit about my life, my family, and what I want to get out of doing this past life regression. I told her that I feel strongly that I am to start my own business in this lifetime, that I am to learn both financial and emotional independence, and that I feel there must be subconscious blocks from me actualizing these goals. I have a lot of limiting beliefs around me being in charge, me handling my own money, etc.

She says OK, then that's what we'll ask your subconcious to tell us today. She said for us to do a past life regression, we just put you in a hypnotic state - not a stage hypnotic state, where you don't know what you're doing or why you're doing it - but one where you are in control of what you uncover and what you don't. Basically, she's just guiding me into my own bank of knowledge.

As she guided me into my hypnotic state, I felt very safe with her. I had done a past life regression before, with a male doctor in Chicago, and I didn't feel good after wards. It felt more voyeuristic, more like a fun story to tell over drinks than something that would help me move into my best life now.

In that regression, it came up that I had been a brothel owner in Arizona during the late 1800s, during the copper mining boom. I was good for business - the mine owner loved me for keeping his boys happy, and the sheriff liked me, too, because the boys would go party and release at my establishment, and then go work the next day. It kept the peace. That is, until a wife decided to take action against my business. Next thing I knew, an STD spread through the town, and I - rather, my girls, were blamed for it. But since I was the owner, I paid the price. A horrible death - gun shot, stabbing, I must have been assaulted by a bunch of men because I had many different things happening to me. I knew it was the sheriff's wife who orchestrated this, and I knew the sheriff and the mine owner knew what was happening to me, but did nothing to help me. I died alone. I remember feeling angry that everyone had loved me and then turned on me.

So, that is a pretty big discovery, and if it is true, it would explain the hesitation I feel about starting my own company. However, the doctor that I did that regression with did nothing with the discovery. He said, wow, that was a pretty powerful discovery. Here's your recording of it. Let's do this again. I felt kind of hung out to dry - I didn't know what to do with this information. So I saw the whole past life regression thing as just a party trick. I didn't go back to him again. But I felt there were answers in there, and I just didn't know how to find them on my own. I needed to find someone who could help me pull up the past lives, and shape their relevance to blocks in this life. Enter Dr. W.

I feel a disclaimer is due here.

Here is my disclaimer: I believe in this stuff. And because I do, I believe that what I unearth will help me move forward with this life. If there are people out there who don't believe in past lives, who think maybe we just make stuff up, I can see their point. Quite honestly, part of me does feel like it's just a very creative imagination coming up with really great plot lines for a movie or something. However, if it is made up ... who cares? If my imagination creates a story to demonstrate to me a possible reason for not moving forward on a goal, and if that story helps me see something I can learn from it so I can move forward, so be it. Either way, the goal is forward motion.

I also believe that we are still evolving as humans, so I believe the trend in positive psychology and past life regressions is occuring now because we are at a point in our evolution to understand them. Just like we thought racism was OK one hundred years ago but now do not, so too do we change as people - certain behaviors or mind sets were OK simply because we didn't know any better. Now we do, and we can go back and fix them.

Allright, back to Dr. W. and my soon-to-happen next past life regression. She puts me under, and has me tell her what I see. I ended up having three lives present themselves to me, the first of which I was living maybe not prehistoric times, but definitely B.C. The village I lived in was destroyed by a sudden volcanic eruption, and I died in the lava flow. We spent the most time on that one, and then it seemed another life presented itself, this one was in eyptian times, and then another one was in victorian times. We didn't have time to go into these in much depth, we spent most of the time on the first life and summing that life's meaning up and why that's relevant to this life.

I felt we did some good work and want to do it again. I felt a lot of compassion for myself - again, if that life was true, in conjunction with the brothel owner, I have, quite honestly, been a shit. In that B.C. life, I was about 19 or 20, had a kid very young, and resented it. I felt nothing was in my charge, and that everything revolved around the village. So far, it seems I've been a brat, a fun brat, but a brat, in most of my lives. Honestly - at some point I hope we reveal I was a holy person or something, because I feel like so far, my evolution has been nothing but pettiness and whining. Hm... not unlike this life.

Anyway, I haven't scheduled another one yet, due to my money being a mess and these being $200 a pop. But, she offers another service in which we look at the life I just left, what I did in that life and how I died. I have a feeling that that last life was in Chicago, and that I was a girl, and involved with probably not Dillinger, but a gang of thieves like that. I've had dreams that involve gangsters and me being a not-so-smooth criminal. So, I'm interested to see how and where I last lived.

The last note on this: She advises to not schedule anything after the regression, to rest and to drink plenty of water. I thought that seemed rather excessive; however, I did schedule it for my day off. I came home, I took a nap. But I had planned on seeing Avatar that night with Mike. We went to the movie, and I spent half the movie sick in the bathroom. Actually, at first I went to the restroom, and then found the janitor's closet with a mop drain in the back of the theater, and so I would run back there, puke, and then sit back down on an end seat and resume watching the movie. Maybe it was too much visually - a 3-D movie on an IMAX screen - for me too take in one day. Maybe it was because the movie had a primitive theme to it's story line, and it was triggering stuff from my past life regression. Either way, I was surprised at the physcial reaction and how at first I felt refreshed, and then I felt totally zapped. I called in sick yesterday. Now I know I need to take both days off, but man, really surprising.

That's it for today. Talk with you soon.